After Life

The Computer Dress rehearsal is out of the way and one is reminded of some very basic stage rules for performers – if possible, try to avoid working with children or animals on stage: this of course is due to the unpredictability of the aforementioned categories. But the list needs to be lengthened to include “conveyor belts” – at least they don’t answer back, fly away or perform basic bodily functions, but they are about as badly behaved – and we have sent ours off to a special school for correction.
The truth is though that we cannot do without it – it moves imperceptibly from right to left upstage and brings with it life’s detritus – or rather furniture, electrical goods, toys, in fact anything that might help us remember important moments of our lives so that we may ultimately be sent away into eternity clutching our “beslissende moment”.
We arrived onstage at the CDR; this mighty machine should have been presenting the results of several visits to Charity shops by the designer – they come in bound to pallets and then get recycled (like all good waste) when they have made the journey across stage once – cohorts of stage hands are there stage left to receive them and quietly take them round the back so that they may begin their journey again in a later scene – rather like the elephants in Aida.
Nothing much was happening when we arrived but we merrily continued until asked to stop eventually because of “technical difficulties” – the belt had stopped altogether. I had delivered my first phrase and this had been enough to put a spanner in the works. Soon we were on our way again…
It wouldn’t be so bad if what I described about the conveyor belt was the sum total of its contribution, but actually it is a key element in the production as it provides us with various props at significant moments – and yes, you’re right, not content with just hunting the monitor, we’re now engaged in hunting the prop. Also we have to stay on it occasionally for a considerable length of time while there is other business on stage – there are basic rules of engagement here – do not get in the way of screen-projections or draw attention to yourself by moving quickly – but the motor for the belt has a sense of humour, so that when you are positioned comfortably it accelerates quickly with the result that you are through the side-curtains in a flash and well offstge for your next vocal contribution – the whole process reminds one strongly of a crematorium…
One also remembers the incomparable Bruce Forsyth (Nice to see you – to see you, nice!) in a family TV show called “The Generation Game”, where after having been silly things to do (Didn’t they do well?!) a member of the team has to remember as many items of goodies that are presented in front of them on yes, a conveyor belt – whatever they remember, they get to take home – and there is always a cuddly toy…
Although we tend to see the same things on our conveyor belt each night, I am told that there is a strong yearning to add bits when no-one is watching, in order to see what mirth might ensue – I was singing a final performance with the D’Oyly Carte Company in the UK some 20 years ago of Iolanthe, and the Lord Chancellor has to disappear upstage for a while to contemplate the fairies at the bottom of a stream, which is unseen to audience, as too I hope was the library of “adult” magazines that had been strategically placed for my amusement…
What you see on stage is very important for an audience – what you can’t see can be just as entertaining though!
A new beginning today as they say – the orchestra is with us on stage for the first time – another piece of the jigsaw that is After Life to slot into place – yes, life is one great big puzzle.